I don’t like feeling so defeated. So hopeless. I don’t want to accept this. But sometimes it feels like there’s no other option. I can’t seem to write well, I seem to completely be cut off from myself. I can’t put an argument down on paper because I’m so scared it’s wrong. So uncertain. I’m so stupid. My teachers tell me I will never succeed. But I always thought as long as I tried….. Trying obviously isn’t enough. People are surpassing me. I can’t, I CAN’T. I CAN’T keep wasting time, I can’t keep being me. I’ve lost sight of who I am and I’m starting to think I could never have done anything right from the beginning. I’m just stupid and naive. So fucking stupid to think I could have done it. I’m just not doing anything right. What can I do? What should I fix first? Save me save me save me I don’t know how
if i sigh loudly enough will all of my problems go away
" I feel too much. That’s what’s going on. Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel the wrong ways? My insides don’t match up with my outsides. Do anyone’s inside and outsides match up? I don’t know. I’m only me. Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and the outside. But it’s worse for me. I wonder if everyone thinks it’s worse for him. Probably. But it really is worse for me. "